Thank you very much for everything, but I'm going to Chicago and try and start some kind of new life. You asked me why I did those things and why I gave you so much trouble. The answer is easy for me to give you, but I'm wondering if you'll understand.
Remember when I was about 6 or 7, and I used to want you to just listen to me? I remember all the nice things you gave me for Christmas and for my birthday and I was very happy with the things for about a week. For the rest of the year I really didn't want any presents. I just wanted all the time for you to listen to me like I was somebody who felt things too. I remember even when I was young, I felt things, but you said you were too busy!
Mum, you're a wonderful cook, and you had everything so clean, and you were too tired from doing all those things that made you busy. But you know something, Mum, I would have liked crackers and peanut butter just as well if you'd only sat down with me a little while during the day and said to me, “Tell me all about it, so maybe I can help you understand!”
“And when Donna came, I couldn’t understand why everyone made so much fuss, because I didn't think it was my fault that her hair was so curly, her teeth so white and she doesn't have to wear glasses with such thick lenses. And her grades were better too, weren't they?
If Donna ever has children, I hope you'll tell her to pay some attention to the one that doesn't smile very much, because that one will really be crying inside. And when she's about to bake 6 dozen cookies, to make sure first that the kids don't want to tell her about a dream, or a hope, or something, because that's important too, to small kids, even though they don't have so many word to use, when they tell about what they have inside them.
I think all the kids who are doing so many things, that grownups are tearing their hair out worrying about, are really looking for somebody who will have the time to listen for a few minutes, and who would really and truly treat them as though they were a grownup who might be useful to them.
If you folks had ever said: “Excuse me.” when you interrupted me, I'd've dropped dead.
If anybody asks you where I am, tell them I've gone looking for somebody with time, because I've got a lot of things to talk about.”
Love to all,
“The Irish Get up and Go 2010 Diary” Glenda Devlin